Little Annoyances

Why must I specify a file name for a save? What's wrong with save001, save002, save003 etc.? Was the development team for (insert any desired game name with said affliction here) so pressed for time they couldn't handle this type of advanced automation? I seriously have to scoot my lazy ass forward, grab the keyboard and type "hkgvmhvknbcbj" to save my game? really?

Why, in 2009, are videogame characters still incapable of walking up and down stairs properly. I can see the steps, and I can see my characters feet, why can't they make proper contact? Also, what do animators do all day? Because they obviously don't spend their time making the characters foot speed match the distance traveled in every game ever.

I also love spending more time in game menus than playing the actual game.

What is with all the really bad and overly annoying little puzzle bits in action games? Look assholes, I bought an action game, I want an action game, not fucking Pipe Dream you pricks!!

How about obnoxious load times for games that are obviously not even coming close to taxing hardware? CLEAN UP YOUR GODDAMN CODE!! Seriously, I would give anything to work in the industry as a game programmer. How about taking some pride in your work? If you hate your job so much, quit so someone hungry to make something great may come along to replace your sorry ass. Should Return to Castle Wolfenstein really take longer to load on current hardware than Left 4 Dead? No, no it shouldn't.

Oh, and how can anyone forgive games that wont even allow you to pause? What the hell is the point of that? "I'd love to help save that dying neighbor kid over there honey, but I can't pause this game and I have spent way too much time getting to this point." Natural selection I suppose.

As if not pausing isn't bad enough, how about games that only have save points about three hours apart? Seriously, WTF? WTF? WTF? WTF? We have the technology to save anywhere at anytime these days. It's not 1985 anymore and the average gamer is no longer eight years old. Some of us have shit to do and wouldn't like to play the last two and a half hours over because we got called into a work emergency. Any programmer that has done this intentionally I have two words for you: FUCK YOU!!!

*Rage Quit*

PC Gaming is not dead! (It's just sometimes broken.)

Wikipedia on Edgar Martinez:

"Martínez, Ted Williams, Babe Ruth, Stan Musial, Rogers Hornsby, Lou Gehrig, and Manny Ramirez are the only players in history with 300 home runs, 500 doubles, a career batting average higher than .300, a career on-base percentage higher than .400 and a career slugging percentage higher than .500."

Why isn't he in the Hall of Fame?

As a Mariner fan I can't help but randomly rant about such issues on occasion. Be forewarned, these issues may also include the Seahawks, Blazers and Redwings for future reference. There will almost certainly be the singular mention of the Oklahoma City Thunder. Right now seems like a good time, just to get it out of the way and off the table. They should have been called the Bombers. Tastless, yes. But it still stings.

Sorry about that. /Rant


I have been playing PC games a lot lately. I picked up The Witcher recently, and I really want to like it. I absolutely love to dig deep into a good RPG. I've put over 400 hours in Oblivion and well over 150 in Fallout 3. I played through Mass Effect 5 times. I have finished Lost Odyssey and I am also very close to finishing Blue Dragon, and that is just a list of Xbox 360 RPG's. The problem comes in when I try to play it.

It's made by a small developer, CD Projekt RED, that have done a great job of supporting the game since it's release. I tend to let quite a few things when that is the case. This game crashes after 30-45 minutes of play everytime without question. For me, that just puts it on a level of annoying that keeps me from wanting to start playing it again. Here's to hoping that 1.5 patch that is soon to be released will fix this issue amongst others. There stands to be a relatively good chance of that as well. We are talking about a company that has gone to the trouble already of re-recording the voice work for the game, due to complaints regarding the quality of the performance. They also give registered users an upgrade to the Enhanced Edition for free, which is a pretty cool thing to do. I'd like to play it, but I just can't.

So instead, I have been getting down on some Flight Sim X, Plants vs. Zombies, World of Goo and Spore mostly. I have also been messing around with a Simbin racer that feels pretty realistic and nice to drive. Flight Sim X has been getting the most attention, especially the Extra 300s. That is one enjoyable plane to fly, it's just a bit rough to land though. Plants vs. Zombies has really appealed to the OCD side of my gaming habbits, as I have purchased everything and have a 100' tree. Spore got addicting for a breif time, but quickly became tedious and World of Goo is relaxing. That's about the extent of my gaming lately, post-E3.

E3 Aftermath

E3 is finally all over and done with. I think I speak for many when I say thank god. It was a return to form of sorts, as E3 had not been what it once was the past couple of years. It certainly was information overload this year for sure though. I would personally have to say all three console manufacturers delivered good shows this year. You could certainly nitpick each a little, but overall, the future looks bright.

On the Microsoft and Sony fronts, I took away one glaring statement that went unsaid. With project Natal for MS and Sony's motion control, these consoles are going to be around for alot longer. The 360 has been out since '05 and PS3 since '06 respectively. Taking console history into account, I figured these machines had 2-3 years left in them at most. But there certainly is a large amount of R & D going on in those camps. Too much if they think the consoles half lives have been passed, it just wouldn't make good business sense if they did. I think they are here to stay until at least 2012, and the techno-junkie part of me finds that a little bittersweet.

The one worry I really have with some of what's coming out is all of the peripherals. Nintendo has been pretty successful in this arena, but they are an anomaly in my opinion. That's not a bad thing, they just have a much broader audience that seems to really click with that stuff. The Guitar Hero and Rock Band franchises have also done well with peripherals, but again, they also appeal to a much more social and casual audience. Typically in this industry however, peripheral adoption rate usually pretty low. For example, I own a 360 camera, but out of all the 360 gamers I know, only two others do. Only time will tell, but I certainly hope this doesn't lead to unhappy stockholders in the long run. It would be excellent though if this really sparked a creative revolution in gaming, and not just more mini-game collections.

The games, oh the sweet, sweet games. There were so many games on display, it will be impossible to stay awake and list them all, so I'll give you some of my personal highlights. In fact, let's do it in video form!


























Whew! And that's just the stuff, that I can remember, I'm looking forward to. How about you?

E3 Shiznit!! A.K.A. E3 coverage from my LA-Z-BOY!!

Why do any real work when you can have others do it for you!! All the coverage you need, without any of the effort!!

• Live Streaming:

Gamespot live conference streaming HERE.

Revision3 live streaming HERE.

IGN live streaming HERE. (requires shitty player install)

• Podcastic audio & video:

Mobcast #5 E3 2009 HERE.

TalkRadar E3 special 2 HERE.

Hotspot E3 Day 3 HERE.

Joystiq E3 podcast: Carl's Jr. edition HERE.

TalkRadar E3 special 1 HERE.

Bungie Studios podcast HALO 3: ODST 6/2/2009 HERE.

Hotspot E3 day 2 HERE.

E3 2009 Nintendo Voice Chat podcast Ep. 49 @ IGN HERE.

Totally Rad Show 115 HERE.

CO-OP 113 @ E309 HERE.

Rock, Paper, Shotgun Left 4 Dead 2 podcast HERE.

Hotspot E3 day 1 HERE.

ListenUP podcasts HERE.

Keep up with the Giant Bomb crew HERE.

Major Nelson posted the audio from the Microsoft E3 presser. Get it HERE.

Joystiq's last minute pre-E3 podcast can be found HERE.

• E3 coverage overload:

GamesRadar

Edge

GamePro

1up

Gamespy

Kotaku

Gamespot

The Escapist

GameTrailers

IGN

Gamasutra

Joystiq

• Driftless Poppycock:

GamesRadar liveblog: Microsoft Nintendo Sony

Microsoft E3 presser pics from Major Nelson HERE.

A letter from Marc Whitten HERE.

Forza 3 screens @ Kotaku HERE.

Microsoft E3 round-up @ Kotaku HERE.

GamesRadar ruling E3, but where's Duke Lombardi? HERE.

XBLA Summer of Arcade Media Round-up @ Joystiq HERE.

Microsoft presser analysis @ Edge HERE.

Oh sweet, sweet Ayane! NGII Sigma footage @ Kotaku HERE.

Giant Bomb bullet points for day 1 of E3 HERE.

Mass Effect 2 screens and vid @ Kotaku HERE.

eat. sleep. game. E3 musings day zero HERE.

Testing Milo @ Kotaku HERE.

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra screens @ Teamxbox HERE.

Forza 3 hands on @ IGN HERE.

Alan Wake hands on @ IGN HERE.

360 games on demand @ Edge HERE.

E3 Monday, What we didn't see @ Giant Bomb HERE.

Crysis 2 @ Rock, Paper, Shotgun HERE.

Jeff Green on his My Sims Agents demo HERE.

Super Mario Galaxy 2 @ Kotaku HERE.

Team Ninja on Metroid: Other M @ Joystiq HERE.

Nintendo unveils Wii Vitality Sensor @ Edge HERE.

Nintendo bullet points @ Giant Bomb HERE.

PSP Go Hands-on @ Kotaku HERE.

Fallout 3 Point Lookout trailer @ Joystiq HERE.

Nintendo & Sony bullet points @ Giant Bomb HERE.

Nintendo presser analysis @ Edge HERE.

Marvel vs. Capcom 2 XBLA screens @ IGN HERE.

GamesRadar's Absurd E3 Photo Diary HERE. (continually updated)

E3 09 Booth Babes @ GamesRadar HERE.

Sony presser analysis @ Edge HERE.

Zelda coming in 2010 at the earliest @ Joystiq HERE.

E3: The Story So Far @ Edge HERE.

Special thanks to GamesRadar, I asked and they truly provided greatness. This is where all the real magic at E3 happens!!




P.S. Let me know if I'm missing something you want here. I'll put it up.

E3 is only hours away!

I'm looking forward to seeing what M$ will have announced by the time I awake around the crack of noon or thereabouts. What will have been announced? No idea, however I personally would like to see some Sam Fisher and Forza 3 mostly. One would also like to think that perhaps Faith and a .45 and Ride to Hell may make an appearance. Perhaps not in the M$ press conference, but somewhere. C'mon, even a poster above a urinal would be better than nothing, which is essentually what I have seen since these titles were announced some time ago, nothing. I would think Mass Effect 2 is a no brainer to make an appearance also, and how about some MGS4? Who knows? Who cares? I'm sure someone will. That someone probably likes Japanese developed games with a control scheme designed to be a pain in the ass, like a majority of Japanese developed games. Japanese auto makers understand usability, why not the game dev's? Nintendo excluded of course, well, sort of.

The only thing I can think of that won't happen that probably should tomorrow, is M$ killing the "Games for Windows" branding. Just let it die already.

Ooh, and if J. Allard makes an appearance, I will soil myself.

Anyhoo, Lesbian Vampire Killers has finished downloading, it's 3:15 a.m., and I should probably head for bed. There's nothing quite like a really bad movie to put you to sleep.

P.S. I'll try to keep up with all the E3 podcasts I can find, and post their links here for the next few days. Provided I feel like it.

EDIT: Okay, I think I underestimated how bad this "movie" is. I'm only five minutes in, and it makes Postal look like top notch cinematography. I'm not going to sleep now. I'll have nightmares about how these "filmmakers" got their grubby, Cheeto infested hands on camera equipment.